...of Ruth

My mother-in-law and I do not have a relationship, right now. During the time that Anton and I were dating, she was "cool." The day I told her that Anton asked me to marry him made the change.

Maybe about two years into our marriage, I asked Anton why his mother did not like me. "I don't know," he responded. I wanted to know why so that I could work on making things right for us, (Anton included). It took him a "minute" to ask her, but when he did, WOW, I felt worse.

Mom-in-law stated that she felt as if I was taking her son away from her and that she doesn't think that any woman will ever be good enough for her son. So with my sassy attitude, I acted as if I didn't care and had nothing else to do with her.

Upon the understanding of husband and wife being one flesh, Genesis 2:24, I repented of how I felt about Anton's mother and decided that I needed to try again. I wrote a letter asking her if I may call her "mom." Her simple reply was, "I never wanted any daughters." Why can't I have a relationship with my mother-in-law that my mommy has with hers and my daddy with his, I thought?

Ruth's account is inspiring. When I first read it, I thought that chick was crazy! How is she going to tell her mother-in-law that she is going to follow her, die where she dies and worship her God, Ruth 1:16-17? Ruth even said that she would be buried where Naomi would be buried, WHOA! What's inside the heart of Ruth that prompts her to have such a devoted heart to her dead husband's mother?

Here's a woman, who does not know God, (Ruth was a Moabite. Moabites refused passage to Israel, hired Balaam to curse Israel and worshipped Chemosh), expressing love and devotion to her mother-in-law. And I, Larie, professing Christianity, wanted nothing prosperous for my mother-in-law. I just wanted her to leave us alone.

I think that I placed expectations on my mother-in-law that she is not able to carry out. I was looking for her to "meet me halfway, " when I should have gone ALL the way, and continued to go further if needed. Our relationship will be our own, without the influence of what I "think" it should be based on the relationships I am accustomed to.

I'm not done with this post, I think it's gonna be a mini-series. I want to take it slow.


  1. Genesis 2:20-24 is all about that God recognized that man needed a helper suitable for him and (verse 24) the woman God gave him is the very reason he will leave his father and mother and become one with his wife.

    Us moms are required to let go. God has given him a wife. You are his Eve, his help meet, the helper that God says is suitable for him.

    Romans 12:18
    "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

    We are only required to do whatever is possible for us. We are not responsible for the response of others.

    I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds in what I've said. Saying a prayer for you now.

    Hey - nice blog. ;)

  2. I am proud of you....God is working something!

  3. You are speaking my language! My relationship that is totally dysfunctional, and rejected is through my Dad and my two brothers, the only siblings I have. It's been two full years now...but lots of expectation on both sides of the fence. I'm the Christian, and I'm choosing to love and forgive, but it is something they can't even begin to understand. I'm coming back, as I said, you are speaking my language.

    Lovely family by the way, just precious!!!


  4. Girl, this post is preaching!
    My mother in law didn't care for me either. She didn't even come to our wedding. Oh well...I lived with it and was fine with it because that was her choice. You're right, we can't expect others to meet us half way. She is deceased now and I am assured that I did everything expected of me as a woman of God. It's easy to love lovable people, but we grow as we learn to love those not as lovable. Stay strong!

  5. "I think that I placed expectations on my mother-in-law that she is not able to carry out."
    I think you made a great discovery.
    I pray that as you let go of the expectations, God will swoop in and bring healing to the relationship that IS - even if it doesn't become the relationship you were expecting.

    And, I do like your new "look." Go, Edie!


Y'all's comments are overwhelmingly encouraging. I appreciate them very much. They motivate me to continue being myself. Smooches!