Hawaii’s beauty chastised me. Because of fear and lack of trust, I almost missed the visual beauty of God’s creation.
My hospital appointments began the day after my arrival. I first met with an Endocrinologist who had the opportunity to mentor a resident. Therefore, I had a pre-appointment with the resident. After scanning my incomplete medical records, (somehow pieces of my information did not find it’s room in my records, maybe they had been given wrong directions!), and feeling my neck for scar tissue, he multiple-choice-questioned me in hopes of capturing the missing health information. Once he realized that wasn’t working, he succumbed to fill-in-the-blanks.
“Mrs. Norvell, the goiter was removed” ____________________
“And your thyroid” ________________________
“And the Cancer cells were in the _________________ part of your thyroid”
At this question, I told him that there had not been any metastastation to my thyroid. The Cancer was capsulated in the goiter. His forehead mimicked the image of a Pug and his eyeballs danced from left to right, which led me to believe that he was confused, thinking, or maybe both. Poor thing; he opened his mouth and said, “Then why are you here?” and he became my victim.
“What do you mean why am I here? Isn’t the thyroid a part of the Endocrine System?” He confirmed and so I told him that I didn’t get why he would ask me that since I’d just educated him on the fact that a part of my Endocrine System was missing. Dr. Resident clarified by reconfirming that the goiter is where the Cancer was and not the thyroid. “Correct.” He also reconfirmed that a second surgery removed my entire thyroid that had no Cancer cells in it. “Yes.” He wanted to know why. Ah-ha, the fog is clearing, I see where he’s going with this. So I broke it down for him:
Biopsy proved goiter benign
Opted to remove due to size & location
Once removed, pathology disproved biopsy-Cancer was present
Second surgery removed entire thyroid per surgeon’s advice in light of the absence of an on-site pathologist. This would eliminate a possible third surgery if the sample taken from my thyroid turned up with Cancer cells as well.
“So now why are you here for I-131?”
“Well, normally, I-131 is not given if the Cancer cells have not metastasized.”
“OBVIOUSLY I AIN’T NORMAL!”
Dr. Resident left the room.
The attending Endocrinologist apologized as he entered the examination room and immediately began explaining that the only information they had was what I could provide. He also told me that he could relate to how frustrating that could be, but appreciated my compassion & cooperation. Intellectually, I knew that, but I was not using my intellect; I allowed my emotions to guide me. Therefore, emotionally frustrated, I acted foolishly and awarded Dr. Resident no mercy.
Back in my room, I called Anton. His ears grew impacted with the overflow of my experience. “Can you believe he asked me why I was here? And then tells me about normal situations! I’m mad cause if he think I don’t need the radiation then I could have not come!” Anton simply said, “Baby, don’t let this trip be in vain.”
Now frustrated with Anton because I thought that he didn’t get the picture of what I was saying because of his response, I ended our conversation and called my “Big Sister” to tell her the same thing. Why did she tell me, “Remember, you are not there for healing from Cancer; God’s already done that.” Okay, she didn’t identify with me either so our conversation also ended.
“Stop listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.” Proverbs 19:27 NIV