...of Taking a Break

I’m exiting cyber-world for an unsearchable amount of time. I’ve consistently mistaken one day for another while waking most morning’s hazily-pondering, “Where am I?” because I feel as if I’d slept in a cold Jacuzzi. Chasing supposedly experienced professionals for due recompense has left me mentally & emotionally exhausted; keep it.

But what really did it was when I stepped to our kitchen sink to beg of its’ liquid supply to make “Janelle’s” artificially-maple-flavored oatmeal only to further foolishly continue to breakdown her young temple by radiologic-ally making it supposedly edible; THE WATER DID NOT COME OUT! It only took all of an eighth of a nanosecond for that light bulb above my silk-scarfed head to illuminate, “U Didn’t Pay the Water Bill!”

I ran into our bedroom closet where the bills are kept. My right hand grabbed a stack of envelopes, (hoping not all of them were forgotten bills), and my left snatched up our checkbook. That stack included not one, but TWO final notices; water & electric! The cutoff date for the water was 27 March 12 if not paid in full by 5 P.M. the previous day. What’s even more saddening is that a few weeks prior when my eyes glanced over the Eastern Wayne Sanitary District’s envelope in the mail pile that “Cameron” brought into the house I thought, “Wow, water bill due again already? They’re sending them out early now; I’ll open it later.”

But off I went downtown to pay the water bill in person. I thought about not even telling Anton because I knew that the water would be back on by the time he’d gotten home but I wouldn’t allow myself to do that either. I didn’t want Anton to know that I’d screwed up the one thing concerning our house that he’d entrusted me to; paying the bills. I’m so glad that the mortgage payment is direct deposit! :/ Even though the shutoff date for our electricity isn’t until 09 April 12, it was still past due nonetheless so I paid that one as well. I mean I can’t believe that I’ve allowed myself to get so distracted by work that I didn’t pay our bills but all the time being proud that we’d been saving money, (or so I thought), and my budgeting tactics had been going well, but in reality our balance looked the way it did because I had not paid any bills!

*Yes, now it’s ok for you to laugh*

Then, once again, I'm not feeling well, and it just seems to get worse everyday but I do not get to see my Endocrinologist until 18 April 12 which was originally scheduled for 28 March 12, (which I found out the day before my appointment), but had to be rescheduled because my referral from insurance company had expired and I had to wait for them to issue another one which I just got a call back for on Tuesday stating that the referral takes up to 72 hours to be approved.

I'm tired y'all, actually exhausted & overwhelmed. I need a break.

Lastly, “Evelyn” has decided to step into the entrepreneurial realm and begin her children’s jewelry line; she’s excited, I’m excited. Therefore, I am putting more of me into my first-born’s ambition of celebrating & expressing herself artistically. I know what it’s like to have an idea, want to make the idea physically real, and then to have someone else be excited or at the least bit interested in that idea, but only to be told, “Shut-up,” “That so sound stupid,” or “What are you talking about?” or how about this one, (the most insane one), “You CAN’T do that.”

To sum it up, I need to slow down, not take on anymore tasks, enthusiastically & wholeheartedly nurse my children in their dreams, and focus. *exhale* Now, I’m not going into total seclusion, you will be able to find me AND my family at these forecasted events:

“Evelyn’s” jewelry launch at the Let Them Speak Teen Summit
It's Complicated '95 Launch in June 2012