I read, "Often, when you are on the spiritual path, there is a war that goes on between the person you once were and the person you are becoming," on Iyanla Vanzant's Twitter page and thought about a letter to God from my journal on August 21, 2013: "Show me who I am." Well you know God is showing me right?
The overflow of my heart has expressed hopelessness, anger, and feelings of failure, so obviously that's what I have been storing up in me, (Luke 6:43-45). I've even given up faith at times. Mostly no good is brewing around in my mind, I don't like it and have even questioned myself, "Why would you think that? What's wrong with you? You know that's wrong! Is this who you really want to be?" Therefore, I began pushing myself to recite Philippians 4:8 and then pushed more forcefully to actually think on good things in order to override the revengeful, self-debasing, and evil contemplations. Man, (SMH), I admit, IT-IS-VERY-HARD, but I really do try. Now I feel that because I've taken steps towards the spiritual path, the person I was, (hopeless, angry, wavering on faith, and revengeful), is battling with the person I want to be, (hopeful, happy, content, and full of sincere faith).
It's a good fight, they both want to win and I just can't call it right now, but I did place my bet on my real self. ;-)