My heart is ready to be relieved of it's constipation...
I was very disappointed with myself while I was in Virginia. I knew that some of the things I was saying and doing were not right, but I was more concerned about "fitting in" with my family more than being the peculiar person that God wants me to be, (1 Peter 2:4-12). I was not an imitator of Christ either, (1 Corinthians 11:1). Above all, the most disappointing thing that I realized about my conduct was that I was loving my family more than Jesus, denying Him and who I really am, (Matthew 10:32-39).
This post would not be much help if I did not expound. I cursed my brother, sister and a friend with my words. They thought nothing of it; well I assume this because they did not say anything to me about it. I was just being "Pookie," the girl they knew back 7 B.C. I also cursed them with a not so friendly finger gesture. And no, we were not mad at one another, that is just how we "communicate." Ya know it's kinda like that thing where girl-friends refer to one another as "Bitch," excusing it by saying, "Oh dat's my gurrrl. It ain't even like dat. We tight.!" Wow, how dumb I was in saying and believing that.
I wrote them all a letter asking for their forgiveness and apologizing for my contradictory behavior. I explained to them that I was not giving a good example of living for Christ by letting unwholesome talk come from my mouth, (Ephesians 4:29-5:4). I also told them about my not being peculiar God's way was wrong and that I wasn't supposed to be worried about not "fitting in" with them anymore, referring to Matthew 10:32-39.
I haven't heard back from them, but I didn't do it for that reason, so it doesn't matter. I closed the letter with;