My mother-in-law was admitted to the hospital on Saturday and released today. While she was in the hospital, my brother-in-law stayed here with us. You would think that I'd be humbly-honored to be of service at this difficult time for her. Come now, if I was, would I be blogging about this right now? NO!
I am so rotten! My nose has been pointed towards the sky with an, "I knew it" bounce. All these years that she has been nasty to me and treated me as if I was just some "chick" that her favorite son was seeing up until we had our first child, then I became Anton's "baby mama," once again it has come back to haunt her. She needs me. She is helplessly attached to a hospital bed and at the mercy of the staff. But I know that doesn't bother her, what I hope is eating away at her is the fact that she is now at my mercy because I have to care for her son. HA, SHE NEEDS ME NOW! I got one over on her now!
Oh yeah, her baby boy may very be staying at her son's home right now, but don't get it twisted, it's me who he is staying with. I'm the one home all day, not her son. ME, yeah me, the one who, "took her son away from her," and who will never be good enough for him, (in her opinion), is needed. I bet I'm good enough now!
I know these are evil thoughts stored up in my heart. I am here to confess to you, my Sisters, my friends. I do not want this to be the overflow of my heart, (Luke 6:43-45). My heart must not speak these things. Pray for me, continually, (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Pray for the overflow of my heart y'all. Counsel me, encourage me, rebuke me please!
Tuesday
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(((((hugs)))))
ReplyDeleteWe don't need to rebuke you; you've rebuked yourself (smile). ((((more hugs)))
ReplyDeleteDear Lord, Larie is not alone with these thoughts. We should not rejoice at the fall of our enemies. you told us to love them and pray for them. It is so hard. We cannot do it in ourselves. Teach us to see them as You see them, to love them as You do. Work through us, let Your Spirit flow through us, doing the things that we can't. In Jesus' Name, Amen
ReplyDeleteI am saying AMEN to Yvonne's prayer.
ReplyDeleteHE will transform you and refine you, Larie. Stand under His cleansing power and let Him wash you. Let Him create a clean heart within you - which overflows love and grace and goodness.
Love you!
I of all people cannot condemn you. I have a couple of relatives squatting at my house right now that I have really been struggling with how to have a good attitude towards. But, God is showing me that He really does hear my prayers asking for help in how to deal with them(even though I still want to give them a piece of my mind.)This morning the verse "a soft answer turns away wrath" came to me and I was able to in a very quiet voice tell one of them that their cigarette smoke was coming in my bedroom window(that I had open for fresh air). And, he took it very well. Sorry this is long, I guess I had something to get off my chest too. So, anyway, in spite of how useless I felt my prayers were because of my attitude, He still spoke wisdom to me and that helped me know He heard.God Bless, Sharon
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