...of my cluttered mind

In the conclusion to “When will you, Larie, learn?” part 3, I forgot to mention another lesson that I need to retain. Even in my stubborn & disobedient ways, God looks past that for the moment and allows me to humiliate myself. Now, I knew how much money I had when I went to the commissary, however, I went in without regard to that. I did not have a calculator, I didn’t mentally take note of what I was spending and nor did I even attempt to jot down a few prices on the partial list that I had! Irresponsibly, I just tossed things into my basket according to the so called “special prices” and my cravings.

So, when I got the total and did not have enough, what I deserved was the overwhelming task of deciding what could be put back and the guilt of knowing that some store associate would have to re-shop those items. However, in spite of my blatant disrespect for our budget, God showed me His mercy through “Ms. Bagger.”

I may have mentioned that usually, if this happens, I just whip out a debit or credit card and pay the difference, but this time I didn’t have either to “rescue” me. I’ve become so comfortable in knowing that if my cash runs out, I’ve got two back-up plans. When in actuality, there is no back-up plan because my husband trusts me to plan a menu and shop according to the allotted budget. Anton does not go ballistic when I use my cards although I shouldn’t. He just simply asks me what happened to the budget and how much I had to use the card for, and I have to admit that this is why I have not been obedient to our budget. I’m not excusing or placing blame elsewhere for my behavior, it was totally disrespectful of me to do this, but I am just pointing out that I have taken advantage of my husband’s easy-going nature and that is wrong of me. Today is time for another commissary trip and yes, I have a menu that agrees with our budget for the next two weeks!

Next, I want to tell you all what I think I learned from our laptop. It’s been “sick” for a long while now and neither Anton nor I could figure it out. Finally, after getting frustrated that it would not be available to accompany me to a conference at the end of the month, I solicited a Brother’s help who worships with us. We gave him the laptop on Sunday evening and on Tuesday afternoon he called to tell me that it had over 500 viruses on it!!! He stated that it’s the worse he’d ever seen and it took him 12 hours to clean it out!!! Our computer-savvy Brother mentioned that we’d allowed the virus protection program we had to expire. Now once he explained all of that, I realized how simple the problem was; why didn’t Anton and I figure that out?

So, the lesson in it is this, I think, when I get to acting’ a fool and Anton calmly asks, “Are you okay baby?” I begin to “trouble-shoot, “ only to figure out that I have no idea what the problem really is so I tell him that I don’t know and throw my hands up. Noticeably, situations will “pop-up,” (that just seem to have no relevance at all, mind you), and just when I get so frustrated to the point of hitting “control-alt-delete” but still not getting any results, I decide to just “shut down” and not be used. Of course, that’s when Anton gives me over more earnestly to God in prayer. When this happens, I am in terrible shape! My Father spends innumerable time with me getting’ rid of the “viruses” that plunged in as a result of the “filters’,” (times of solitude with God, studying His word to become better, etc.), expiration. I just hope that I do not ever become so “unfixable” that God gives me over…Romans 1:28.

Lastly, here is a photo of my self-hair cut, A.K.A. mushroom, bowl-cut and “WHAT-WERE-YOU-THINKING?” I took this photo while on the phone with my sister because she asked me to send her a pic. When I take a picture of the “Auntie Saved It” hairdo, I’ll post it as well.