...of Anton's love

After communicating with the cashier from the Base Exchange, I spent the remainder of the weekend with a Sister who worshiped with one of the local congregations. She took me to the swap meet where I saw a t-shirt that read,
”You Never Know How Much You Need Jesus Until He’s All You Got.” I stood there, staring and briefly pondered its fitting meaning while whispering to myself, “Amen.” About an hour later we left for the salon.

While I waited for my Sister-friend as her beautician transformed her hairdo, I started feeling uncomfortable. The salon doubled as a barbershop as well. Therefore, a plethora of varied species from the opposing gender filled the tiny waiting area. Masculine aromatics teased my body. It began responding in ways that ought to be reserved for Anton. The young man sitting next to me, innocently, became my secret lover. I turned my head just a bit so that his odor could be deeply inhaled by my olfactory senses. As I inhaled, my eyes closed and I saw myself “with” him. My foot began to tap and I forced my head back into my personal space. “This ain’t cool. Quit it!” I yelled to myself.

My lustful thoughts were combated with prayer, singing and journaling. At last try, I asked for the keys so that I could remove myself from that scene altogether. When I spoke to Anton later in the evening, back in my room, I admitted the mental adultery, (…But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart… Matthew 5:27-30 NIV), I had with “Barber Shop Lover” to him. Unangered and confident, he thanked me for telling him, we prayed and offered each other a good night...

“…The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband…Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command.” 1 Corinthians 6:12-7:6 NIV


  1. I think I need a t shirt like the one you saw. Thank you for always being real in your posts.
    Blessings and prayers, andrea

  2. How refreshing to know you struggle with the same things we all do. Well, this particular thing I don't struggle with. Right now my temptation is the Moo Latte at Dairy Queen. I am hopelessly addicted! Pray for me!

  3. We all play the mental acrobatics with areas we should not. Glad to hear your response and that your husband's response was so Godly. Bless you both! :O)

  4. Wow, Anton is a keeper. But you already knew that...

  5. Glory to God.
    I know what that is like to have to take every thought captive. Because you are transparent the Lord can be seen and others will know they are not alone.

  6. It's great that your relationship with Anton is so great that you can share with him things like that. Some men would have become insecure. How beautiful! Love your honesty.


Y'all's comments are overwhelmingly encouraging. I appreciate them very much. They motivate me to continue being myself. Smooches!