...of, I do not know how to swim

Over the remainder of the weekend, I met a few other members of the Lord’s Body and attended morning & evening worship service. After the morning worship service, I called my family. Our oldest child asked me if I wanted to come to her house, heartbreaker. Anton then informed me that she had pooped on herself four times since I had been gone. I guess all the changes had caused some regression in her. Anton also told me that our son had begun crawling…ON THE EVENING THAT I LEFT!!! Now that’s just rude! The Sister I spent the day before with suggested that I spend the night with her so that she could take me to the hospital in the morning. I quickly accepted because I agreed with her reasoning that spending the night alone before having radiation treatment and having to be shuttled to the hospital would be “inhumane!” :)

In the morning I arrived at the hospital, hiked to the lab for blood work, then reported to the Endocrinologist’s headquarters. He needed to meet with me to so that he could notify me if my TSH level had come up to the required level of 50 so that I could start the I-131 process or to tell me that it was not where it needed to be and that treatment would be rescheduled. Dr. “Endo,” emotionally retarded, crossed the threshold of his office. His body language could not be read. I had no idea what to think, and because of this I noticed that I had begun to sink. My heart raced. Panicking, I whined at Jesus, “No Lord, please don’t let this have to be rescheduled. I wanna go home!” The doctor made his way around to his seat and he sat there for an hour in silence, staring at my paperwork. (Okay, not really, but it seemed like a REALLY long time! tee-hee)

Barely making eye-contact with me he said…

“During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples say Him walking on the lake, they were terrified. ‘It’s a ghost,’ they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to the: ‘Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.’ ‘Lord, if it’s You,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to You on the water.” ‘Come,’ He said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when He saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him… Matthew 14:25-31a NIV


  1. WOW...what a powerful verse in that moment!

    This post deeply moved me. Thank you for sharing!

    Blessings, andrea

  2. Thanks, I love this post. It reminds me that we all have times when we feel we are sinking.

    But God always catches us.

  3. Girl? You and your cliff hangers are going to do me in!
    And of course you close with the scripture that reminds me - sometimes He responds in the fourth watch of the night, and sometimes He responds immediately. It isn't up to me to decide. Mine is to trust His perfect timing.
    OK, I'll wait. *sheepish grin*

  4. Don't you love that verse? Peter takes his eyes off Jesus and places them on his circumstances and immediately he begins sinking. How often have we done that and begun to sink into fear or despair?

    My dad and my brother had radiation for their cancers, but my brother had to go through chemo twice, as well as a bone marrow transplant. His is a nasty cancer, but he tries to keep his eyes on the Lord as best he can.

  5. what a great post! Just wanted to say hi! Please stop by


Y'all's comments are overwhelmingly encouraging. I appreciate them very much. They motivate me to continue being myself. Smooches!