...of realness

Just before class started for mid-week Bible study two nights ago, I was asked why was I so happy. It caught me off guard because I quickly began to think why couldn’t I be happy; what warranted that comment. Now, I was not and am not offended by that question. I just need to talk about it.

Sister ******, I know, was not being mean. She had a bright smile on her face, which I interpreted, as her being happy that I was so happy and she just wanted to know why. However, it was convicting.

Have I been walking around sullen?

Had I been complaining too much?

What had my body language been communicating?

Being real is important for me. When you ask me how I am doing, please do not expect me to give the cliché answer, “I’m fine, thank you. How are you?” If I’m irritated as a result of running behind schedule, I’m going to tell ‘ya! What about one of those days I let my depression get the best of me, you will know, ‘cause I’m gonna tell you that too! Maybe I’m cramping at the moment you ask, Larie will tell you that as well.

Yes, I know that my words must be spoken wisely, depending upon whom I am speaking with and I do. Sometimes I may respectfully respond, “I’m not doing too well but I don’t want to talk about it.” However, I will not tell you that I am fine when I am not. So maybe this is the reason that my happiness was questioned. It is the first time in a long while that I have responded to, “How are you tonight, Larie?” with a smile, bounce and, “I’m good! How ‘bout you?” I should make the effort to elaborate on why I’m feeling good as well.

Lastly, if I am not real with you about what’s on my mind spiritually and emotionally, how will you know what to pray for? How will you be able to encourage me? What specific help would you be able to offer. This flips right back around to you. If you are not real with me, (so basically, if we are not real with people, especially our Brothers & Sisters in Christ), what shall I pray for? How can I encourage you? Specifically, what can I do to help you?

The original topic kind of got away from me, but all that I just said still applies. Right? Make it work y’all!

"...Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other..." James 5:13-16 NIV


  1. Being real can be difficult, because it seems most of the time people ask how you're doing, they aren't looking for the REAL answer. A polite "Fine, thank you," will suffice.
    Nonetheless, I try to be real, too.
    Often times, when I am not in a situation which would be appropriate to really lay it all out, or if I don't think the person sincerely wants to know, I will respond with something like, "I'm going to be OK." Kind of a faith statement on my part, kind of a reminder to myself that I AM going to be OK, and an attempt to give the ask-er the opportunity to ask more if they really want to know.

  2. Dear Larie:
    I like real, and I believe God does, too. Some people cannot handle real, though. I'm sure you've noticed that! They have so many problems of thier own that they can't bear to hear of anyone else's.
    I guess the key word here is discernment. We need to be led by the Holy Spirit whom we can "spill our guts" to and whom it's best to just say, "I'm fine," even if we are not. I agree with I.M.: use that as a faith statment that you are going to be fine!
    Happy Weekend,

    P.S. Your kids are darling, angelic!

  3. I try to be real but sometimes I feel that people who ask how I'm doing is merely doing it out of routine and they really don't care. Plus, most people don't want to hear complaining or gripes even if that's how I'm feeling. I really am blessed and should always find a reason to be happy but somedays I just can't or just need a pity party. This post will stick with me!!

  4. I love keep it real people. I don't have a problem telling my children how awful they look before they walk out the house. Whenever my daughter goes and tries on clothes, she tells my husband that he will tell her what she wants to hear, but she said that I will tell her what she needs to hear, even if it hurts. Thanks for that awesome word you "deposited" on my blog. That's what I call keeping it real.

  5. If we tell someone we are fine and we're not, isn't that a lie?

    This is where the problem comes in with some Christians. We believe that we have to be perfect and happy all the time. But we need to take off the masks and let people see that Christians experience a range of emotions just like everyone else. The difference is that we have hope in Jesus, who can fix anything that we are going through.

    I do agree with Tara that most people are just asking out of routine, but you don't have to say fine when everything is bad. Just ask the person to pray for you. You never know...God could have sent that person to help you.

    I'm done with pretending like everything is wonderful and being fake to keep up appearances. I've done a couple of posts on this too.

    I enjoy stopping by. Glad you found me! :-)

  6. Good points. I think some people simply say, "Fine" b/c at that moment they may not have time to elaborate more. I do that. If I detect someone else's "fine" may not really be so I'll try to follow up with them later. I do like it though when someone is open enough to say, "Oh, not so good today." Honesty really is the best policy!


Y'all's comments are overwhelmingly encouraging. I appreciate them very much. They motivate me to continue being myself. Smooches!