I Use to Be Ashamed

This week at the My Heart Speaks Facebook Fan Page we’re back on the subject of depression. Depression is a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.

Until I was diagnosed with depression in 2007 I thought it wasn’t real and that anti-depressants were really placebos and now here I am five years later diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder plus on two anti-depressants. When the Internal Medicine doctor said to me that not having a thyroid meant that I was no longer able to produce certain hormones, I held on to that as an excuse for my depression. My thinking was, “Well if I still had my thyroid I wouldn’t be depressed.” So I didn’t own depression. In the beginning when I was only on one anti-depressant and when questioned about why I was taking Zoloft®, my automated response was, “It’s just a supplement because I am no longer able produce certain hormones on my own since having my thyroid removed.”

I was ashamed and didn’t want to accept that I’d been diagnosed with the very thing I had been so adamantly against…talk about a humility lesson. I didn’t want to be just another statistic and be treated differently. Now that I know depression is real and how “lonely” it can be, part of my mission is to bring awareness to depression, eliminate the stereotypes associated with it and reach out to others who battle with depression and provide a non-judgmental forum for discussion and emotional support.

Join me; comment, ask me a question, answer a question, or share your story to help others.


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