...of Change is Coming

that chill in the air

mentions a change is there

feeling some type of way, she screams, IT-AIN'T-FAIR!



another harvest season is approaching

if she regrets what she has sown, there won't be any boasting

further stifling all hoping



from harsh winds she takes no cover

so soon the leaf will bear its' true color

wondering if anyone will still love her



minding never 'cause it don't matter

for she has no image to shatter

but she gotta be ready for what comes after

Lady in Waiting

where is my Spring?

why to winter must I cling?

waiting.



separate me from winter's cold and harsh sting.

no real commitment in spite of the gorgeous ring.

hold.



some may ponder,"why spring?"

well, I know she's more than just a once a year fling.

patience.



change and new life accompanies Spring; time to finally use my wings.

longsuffer.



the genesis of a season is spring...an epoch of original dated space she brings.

anticipate.

Reclaim

I don’t know for sure why I didn’t tell, but sometimes it seemed as if I’d be the blame

So I kept quiet and played along with their special games

They seemed to fondly admire my small child frame

I wished their sick lusts could be tamed

And I didn’t feel mangled and maimed

“You’re a good little girl” they all claimed

Sometimes my nightmares are a drain

Peace and uninterrupted sleep is all I want to gain

Instead of waking up-feeling like I’ve been beat with a cane.

...of Stranger to Stranger

If I don’t know,
Then how is someone else supposed to know?

I can’t explain it,
Then how will another?

If I can’t give reason,
Then why would any other try?

I fear my feelings,
Why don’t you?

Sometimes I feel like more of a stranger to myself than a stranger is to me.


Simply,

Me + 2= 3 Theories

I wake up only to long for sleep. “Why do I even wake up?” I wondered.

One said, “It’s not going to get better…look how long it’s been.”

Then another asked, “Aren’t you tired of the routine?”

“Yes!” I interjected, that’s why I just want to sleep.

One replied, “Why don’t you just take control & end your life?”

Then another commented, “Because she’s even too weak to do that!”

The other said, “She’s a sorry excuse of a life.”

Alarmed, because I heard an unfamiliar voice, I asked, “Who said that?”

Stubborn-silence

So I interjected again, “STOP TALKING ABOUT ME LIKE I’M NOT HERE! Yeah I wake up only to count the hours till nightfall so that I can go back to sleep. I continue to wake up because it HAS to get better-that’s why I don’t end my life-I want to see the better & cheer & praise my Creator-God for it! I want to share my stories with someone else who maybe waking up only to long to go back to sleep as well! The routine, I admit, does get boring, but-I-won’t-end-it; I’ll innovate it. As a matter of fact, I’m going to get up right now to get away from the 2 of you!

One said, “She’ll be back in a few hours.”

Then another said, “Yeah, and we’ll talk to her till she falls asleep on us after hours of tossing, turning, begging us to shut up & let her go to sleep.”

And the unfamiliar said, “Of course she’ll be back; she has to find out who “i” am, why she hadn't heard from "me" before, and why "i'm" here. Trust me, she'll be back, we’re the ones who motivate her to get up…she just don’t know it yet.”

Simply,

...of Knockouts

While you’re still contemplating your next move;
I’m shouting “CHECKMATE!”

Surprised/though you tried not to show it, you begin a new game/ when instead, you ought to change your mind frame.

You act like the truth is TABOO™;
making sure to use the cards you’ve made which remind you of what not to say;
boy boo! you’re absent-minded of the clues!

Now you think that MONOPOLY™ is your forte;
purchasing, then marking me as your “territory” is not an option,
i was bought with pure blood AND marked by God!

You’re no good at CONNECT FOUR™ either;
thinking you’ve blocked my way,
when in fact, you blocked your way to being a man!

Maybe you should try Connect the Dots™/they’ll lead you away from the boyish games/& mentality so that you’ll cognize what it means when I say, UNO™!

Simply,

...of Run Away

I wanna’ run away
get lost
disappear to stay

I wanna’ run away
do not seek; respect that I hide
unable to play

I wanna’ run away
opposite of preconceived expectations
no mind to what they say

I wanna’ run away
damn empty promises & slick smiles
MOVE! Y’all in my way

I wanna’ run away
absent of sin & mortal judgment
needing to pray

I wanna’ run away
i can’t stay
to play
the game of what you say
you’re words/they’re in my way
now, must I pray?

Simply,

...of 07052011

Mid Tuesday mourning

No sounds

Absent of movement

Life gone, and then soon removed

Does life come by death?

Or is it

Death comes through life?

Absent of sounds

No movements to calculate

Vacuumed sounds arise because no life sounds overcame

Uncontrolled movements result from removed life-absent-none-gone

Simply,

...of Baby Belle Blue pt. 2

One week longer you coulda’ grew

One week closer to being through

One week past the clue

Last week I was such a brute

My apologies to you

Baby Belle Blue.

Simply,

Baby Belle Blue

To you I tried to be true
through & through.
I promise I didn’t know what to do
up until it finally came to
accepting the non-existence of you;
in a life meant for 2
supposedly coming through,
& into a world of blue-
skies, waters, blankets, pills & scrubs while blood flowed through
for you,
my Baby Belle Blue.

Simply,

...of Ambien

Beckoning chirps/while the dew
still glistens like new
Semi-roll/aching to remain sleep
for they need me, (my dreams), to keep-

my eyes shut tight/as i fight
'cause i don't wanna see the light
Grunting in fetal position/needing to refrain
from the mediocrity to maintain
to be the one expected to remain
in an overdue membrane.

Of course I want to maintain,
but I broke the mold of the 43-week old membrane
that you expect me to remain
and until you can accept that/i choose to refrain-

from the beckoning chirps while the dew
is still new
and continue to roll back to sleep
'cause my dreams, i need to keep
so i'll keep my eyes shut tight,
continue to fight,
and stay away from the light-
positioned like a fetus in a membrane
who's trying NOT to remain.

Simply,

...of Miscommunication of Translation Part II

Silence isn’t silent.
Silence speaks; ignorantly to some, intelligently to others.

My silence is meekly an act of wisdom;
I’ve said it before, “What you’re saying doesn’t make sense.”
I said it again, “You’re still not making any sense…this is why…

Yet, here you are AGAIN, saying the same thing, which now makes less sense than it previously did; but this time I am exercising my right to remain silent/for you will not be able to hold my words against me by saying, “See, I told you that you don’t listen to me. Now get off my back and stop nagging me!”

“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Proverbs 10:19 NIV

Simply,

...No More Fooling Me

I asked you once/gave the specifics second time around
Don’t know if it’s good for you or me; but since this is NOT a game of baseball…THERE AIN’T NO STRIKE 3

You’re just like the rest of them; undependable,
full of empty promises laced with game, &
cowardly/perhaps for the sake of your ego, and/or just to hear yourself say something good

I almost fixed my mouth to say, “Poor Me” for trusting,
opening up to, &
asking you/perhaps because I do want to believe that not the total male species is corrupt,

But reality says, poor YOU, for playing against yourself & still losing!

Simply,

...of Miscommunication of Translation Part I

Silence isn’t silent.
Silence speaks; ignorantly to some, intelligently to others.

I’ve been thinking that you regard my silence as me being stupid, passive, slow, weak, and lacking self-confidence.

I’ll make a deal with you:
If I speak,
You listen.

When I speak,
You hear me…
…without calling me a bitch, nag, or whiner, and then saying that I’m not listening to or understanding you.

Playa’, I am listening to you; your words are audible.
They’re also cunning, beguiling, vexing, ridiculing, and reeking of undue preeminence.

Simply,

...of Pain

Can anything hurt worse than this,
will anything free me of this?

What may mentally scar me more than this,
when may I be emotionally void of this?

Who understands this,
why don’t I get this?

How permissible is this,
where in my world is this?

Simply,

...of If I Were Being Compensated for Thinking;

I thought I’d arrived,
no more cries.

I thought I meant more,
not so much a chore.

I thought I understood,
instead I learned I’m no good;

No good at following the clues,
so that I don’t look like a fool.

Nothing good can come of this,
the feeling of what I want to do with my fists.

Nor can it take/
away my heartache.


Simply,